Caramel Corn for One

I have a pretty good diet, for an American. A typical breakfast for me is a bowl of steel-cut oatmeal and a cup of unsweetened tea. Lunch is usually a big salad of organic romaine dressed with olive oil and topped with various high-protein additions. Supper might be a stir-fry, a veggie-burger, or some potatoes or cauliflower completely disguised by Indian spices. So far, so good.

If I go to bed early and get eight hours of sleep, no problem. Unfortunately, I don't need that much sleep. If I stay up until two or three or four in the morning, however—which is almost all the time—I get dangerous cravings. And since I'm a pretty good cook, even if I don’t keep snacks around the house I can create them out of almost anything in the pantry.

The other night I was working late at my computer, as usual. Around two a.m. I started thinking about caramel. Caramel is right up there for me with chocolate. And sitting at a computer, I had about a billion recipes for gooey desserts available to me without even having to step over to the bookcase. After considering for a minute, I decided that what I fancied was caramel corn. I don't make it often, but often enough to remember that it must be baked in the oven for about an hour after putting it together to make it properly crunchy. As anyone who gets middle-of-the-night cravings knows, texture is every bit as important as taste. But also that time is of the essence.

A quick search turned up a recipe for microwaved caramel corn. I was dubious but desperate. I followed the directions and was happily amazed to find it worked perfectly and yielded four quarts of delicious caramel corn. I’ll never go back to the oven.

Here’s the recipe:

Make four quarts of plain popcorn. (That’s ½ cup of kernels in an air popper.) Put a stick of butter, a cup of brown sugar, ½ cup corn syrup, and a pinch of salt in a bowl and microwave until it’s boiling—about 2 minutes. Stir at this point if you want. Then boil another two minutes in the microwave. Stir in ½ teaspoon baking soda. Put the popcorn in a brown paper grocery bag and pour the caramel over. Roll down the top of the bag and shake vigorously. Microwave bag 1 ½ minutes. Shake bag and microwave another 1 ½ minutes. Shake again and pour out onto a tray. If you’re the type to eat the whole batch in one sitting, you can be in my caramel corn club.

Bad Poetry: Christmas Joy

(Optional Title)
Name(s)
May your home be filled with Christmas joy,
days of happiness and love.
May each year bring to you and yours
new blessings from above.
May family and friends who gather there

fill the rooms with laughter and cheer
creating memories that grow more treasured
with every passing year.
(Optional Closing)
Name(s)
(optional date)

For only $129.98, an enterprising online company will frame this "personalized" poem in genuine crystal and send it to a loved one in your name. Now that's class!